Draft Combine Part 2: The Skype Chat Edition

bateman

CO-AUTHORED POST — for Part I, click here.

Alright folks, we did a PART 2 of the new and exciting draft-combine interview reactions. This was the SKYPE CHAT edition wherein we live-chatted quick takes on whatever the soon-to-be rooks had to say.

Why is there a picture of Patrick Bateman and Victor Oladipo, you ask? You’ll have to click below the fold, read the post, and find out for yourself!

Cody Zeller

AG: Cody separates himself by working hard and winning games. (Novel ideas!)

PJ: On AND off the court! (A threat to finally defeat Love as team beer-pong champion!)

AG: Cody plans to extend range to the NBA three-line. (SMALL BALL REVOLUTION!)

(His nose is definitely broken.)

PJ: [Insert Anchorman Brick Tamland “SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE” youtube vid here]

AG: 35 credits from graduating from Kelley School of Business #LifeAfterBasketball

PJ: (parting shot): PUZZLING PATTERN: How is it that semi-athletic white big men always compete if not win the standing vert? If you believe that metric, K-Love and Zeller are two of the elite leapers of the last half-decade of drafts. IT DOESN’T PASS THE EYE TEST(!)

Trevor Mbakwe

AG: Not an “ideal route to get here” (Ya think?)

PJ: He’s circuitously saying that he MIGHT be a Reggie Evans-type. If everything goes right.

“I CAN’T SCORE” – the subtext

AG: Has an interview with Miami. (Hell yeah, great fit for Trevor to sub in whenever the Birdman Bridge is burned.)

PJ: UDONIS HASLEM DEATHMATCH! (You heard it here first!)

AG: Needs to knock down 15 footer with better consistency. (If he *does* he could be a Haslem type.)

*jynx*

Victor Oladipo

AG: “I’m a weird dude.” (Uh oh, where’s he going with this?)

PJ: *You can see the crazy in his eyes*

What’s the payoff? I get inspired and like to practice. Weird, Vic. WEIRD.

AG: Wow, #anticlimactic on the “weird” bit. He just wore out his gym swipe card from too many odd-hours workouts?

PJ: (Somehow more disappointing than the lack of Rawls payoff was in Season 3 of The Wire.)

AG: Turns table on reporters — do *they* know about “new chapters in their life?”

ALEX LEN DEATHMATCH! (or something — why are they pitting Vic vs Len?)

(reporter quoted Len as saying he wants to be best in class)

PJ: UPS THE ALEX LEN ANTE!

(He should’ve asked, “Who’s ALEX LEN?!”)

AG: “You wanna be the best Victor Oladipo possible.” RECORD BREAKER: Second AND Third Person!!!

Vic is remembering MJ & Magic highlights from the 80’s (He was born in 1992.)

PJ: VICTOR OLADIPO DOESN’T SLEEP!

Allen Crabbe

AG: Was denied the ball in college, had to learn how to get open. (Will he be denied the ball in the pro game?)

PJ: “You can’t play ball without a ball.” #LessonsLearnedFromAboveTheRim #MikeMontgomery

AG: Not satisfied with being *just* a spot-up shooter. (Not sure this is the right attitude there, Allen.)

PJ: #WesJohnsonAlert

AG: “I definitely didn’t have any thought about the Wizards.” (Smart guy.)

PJ: Tries to make sense of Klay Thompson’s role and how he compares.

?

AG: Compares himself to Reggie Miller and Allan Houston. (SLOW YOUR ROLL!)

Rudy Gobert

AG: He doesn’t *sound* French. (Yes he does.)

PJ: Rudi Gobert: 7’1” without shoes, French accent. Shoe-in for first round pick. Possibly for a modeling contract too.

AG: “Don’t like soccer.”

PJ: I understand Shved’s Russian better than Gobert’s Francais-English.

AG: Defensive player, wants to be like Tyson Chandler.

PJ: I want to be top-10. #1, #7, it doesn’t matter to me. #optimism

#IrrationalKahnfidence

cassel la haine

#WhatWouldVincentCasselDo

Michael Carter-Williams

***SYRACUSE ALERT***

PJ: Repeatedly mentions becoming an NBA All-Star.

Doesn’t acknowledge unrelated questions.

AG: Met with Detroit. (He can share the ball with Knight & Stuckey — GOOD LUCK!)

PJ: “I’ve always been a great teammate” – Most great teammates don’t need to proclaim themselves great teammates. Their, you know, teammates do that.

AG: Models game after Jason Kidd. (Says every guard that can’t shoot.)

PJ: “Errr…I’m shooting the ball really well now.”

“I’m taking my interviews on interview at a time.” A restatement of a cliche commonly used by alcoholics and Tom Kelly.

***

So yeah, Oladipo has issues with his card. Patrick Bateman did too. They’re both a bit weird. But both do what they do with style.  The inspiration for that satirical comp is here:

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