How Adam Silver Dismissed Shabazz Muhammad from NBA Rookie Orientation

Always Be Closing – (1:00), NSFW depending where you work

Last night Andy G wrote about Michael Beasley’s latest drug-related arrest. Today, the NBA dismissed Wolves first-round pick Shabazz Muhammad from its Rookie Transition Program–an achievement shared by a select few. Yes, Mike Beasley is one of Shabazz’s compatriots in this exclusive club. [Eds. Note: Is Basketball Reference tracking this statistic yet? You can almost smell the bling for the petulant blogger who first exploits these ANALYTICS(!)].

Anyway, the story probably goes a little something like this:

Shabazz went to the mandatory Transition Program. Shabazz zoned out all day while Adam Silver and his ilk told “scared straight” stories.

Shabazz probably figured he didn’t need to listen. He had grown up with Ron Holmes.

When class let out, Shabazz went out and got his self laid. Always be closing, that’s the Muhammad way.

But Adam Silver said not to do that. Shabazz wasn’t listening. Because Ron Holmes.

Muhammad’s *immediate* defiance of Silver’s rules apparently didn’t sit well with Commissioner Adam. I get it. He has a reputation to make. He’s filling big shoes. There’s stuff to prove.

So Adam sent Shabazz packing. For sleeping with a female. ‘Cause that’s bad, and anyway, NBA players are known for abstaining from sex.

So there it is. Now Commissioner Adam can say, “Welcome to the Rookie Rejects Club, Shabazz! You get to carry Mike Beasley’s torch. Are you up to the challenge? Errrmmm….”

So that’s how I imagine it went down. But some beat writers jotted down stuff, based on actual reporting.

Phil Ervin had the beat:

The Minnesota Timberwolves’ top draft pick was sent home from the league’s Rookie Transition Program, for, as reported by USA Today Sports, bringing a female guest into his Florham Park, N.J., hotel room Tuesday evening. Just hours before, players had been explained the program’s rules, which include no guests unless authorized by administrators.

Muhammad was immediately kicked out of the four-day event. He’ll be fined and have to complete the seminar next summer with the 2014 draft class.

Full piece here.

Anyway, PDW salutes Shabazz Muhammad. And I’m Kahnfident in saying: So do Kevin Love and Ricky Rubio. Shabazz is an adult. He’s a 20-year old grown-ass man. (Not 19!) That’s what they do!

And he didn’t really do anything wrong. Last time I checked, adults are allowed to choose whether they want to have female visitors, and in some states even male visitors.

As a society, we’ve more-or-less progressed to a point where, as an adult, you even get to decide whether to leave your door open or to close it when you have company. Unlike at Rookie Transitions camp.

At the NBA’s Rookie Transition Program, women are bad. You get taught that they’ll take your money, by using their sex. You’re pretty powerless to make choices for yourself. So no women visitors, s’il vous plait!.

Okay, so Shabazz broke a rule. It’s actually easy for a lot of Wolves fans to feel good about this, but for the wrong reasons. Fact of the matter is, a lot of Wolves fans disliked Shabazz from the moment he was picked at #14.

AWKWARD(!)

AWKWARD(!)

Whether you liked or disliked that pick, or you liked or disliked his Summer League performance, you shouldn’t judge Muhammad on this “offense.” What you should learn–or be reminded of–is that the League’s leadership has a weird, paternalistic, authoritarian streak to its management style, and “The Commish”, whether Stern or Silver, likes to flex from time-to-time.

I get it. I mean, who doesn’t??

The Commish: This is a law-and-order league #lulz

The Commish: This is a law-and-order league #lulz

But yeah–this one is on Adam Silver. (Is that his Escalade sitting in front of “the club?”)

Adam Silver: Straight Up Gangsta

Adam Silver: Straight Up Gangsta

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3 Comments

Filed under NBA Draft, Timberwolves

3 responses to “How Adam Silver Dismissed Shabazz Muhammad from NBA Rookie Orientation

  1. I don’t think we’re leading the blogosphere in much, but we’re in the running for “most funny Adam Silver photo captions.” And that’s something.

    Good work.

    • I’m suspect there’s someone out there who’s got way funnier Adam Silver captions than us. If so, I want to get him added to the blogroll, and ASAP.

  2. Pingback: The Wolves Year in Review, 2013 (The Punch-Drunk Edition) | Punch-Drunk Wolves